What will they take away from me next? My husband was literally losing his mind …

Alzheuner’s disease does not only affect the patient. It affects the whole family. Each day seems very long and the biggest problem is how to fill them.

My husband of over 50 years, was literally losing his mind. He was anxious and confused and I was having trouble coping with  the fact that I was losing the husband that I loved and knew so well.  Then his doctor told him that he should stop driving and asked me to cancel his driving license. I refused. “You do it,” I said.  “What’s the problem?” she wanted to know. ” I had to explain that it would be far too painful for both of us if I had to be the one to make this onerous decision.  Not long after that, I was forced  to persuade him that one credit card between the two of us was sufficient. I’d found expenditures that were not in character with his way of spending. My husband turned to me saying:”I wonder what they will take away from me next?”  which literally broke my heart. But he continued to take his regular walks and played bridge.

All I could do was offer lots of love and support. In an effort to remind him of times gone by, I suggested that we dance the slow every evening. We danced to familiar oldies like; I just called to say I love you,’ by Stevie Wonder; Are You Lonely Tonight?  Blue Moon, I Only Have Eyes For You and I Will Always Love You. He moved his feet and held me close. I don’t know what it did for him, but it was good for me.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They simply make the best of everything they have. 



This entry was posted in Alzheimer's on by .

About Jill

Author of books and articles on support and experiences of living with a mentally ill family member. My aim in blogging is to let others see how a loving family, with a father and husband who is able to give unconditional love, can help the family cope. Many call me the blogging grandma.'

1 thought on “What will they take away from me next? My husband was literally losing his mind …

  1. Elaine Benton

    It’s very sad and cruel how Alzheimer’s robs us of the person we once knew; slowly slipping away before ones very eyes, leaving but a mere shell. I was so touched by your description of you dancing, and I assure you, that whilst he clung to you in those moments, moving to familiar old songs, he knew he was in the arms of the woman he loved.


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