I was trying to come to terms with the fact that so much of our future had been taken away from us when our son died.We had dreamed of a career, a wedding, grandchildren and everything that goes with that. However, that was not to be. We were left trying to come to terms with the fact that we had lost our son to schizophrenia and the resultant grief was ours to bear and try and cope with. Our daughters were having a very hard time with that as well. Everyone meant well and wanted to help. People seem to be so knowledgeable when it comes to a death but they did not talk about suicide and some forgot how much our other children were suffering and seemed to focus more on us. We spoke about suicide. After all, when David took the most shocking decision of his life, he did so all alone, and his utter despair and anguish will never leave us. We needed to share that with friends and family.
It took years for us to think of David with a smile on our faces instead of tears. As much as I hated the incessant telephone calls from him day and night, how I wished I could call him now. But, I have learned to look for the good things in life so am grateful for the memories that no one can take away from me. Our daughters remember him when he was healthy and all the things they did together. They miss him but like us, have taken the decision to get on with their lives. Life goes on.
We will never forget you, my son.