The irony of the situation was that the one person who could have helped me…


The irony of the situation was, that the one person who could have helped me though the grieving process, was my husband and it was for him that I was grieving. I continued tutoring English but when my last student went home, the apartment was so large and empty. Mornings I ran away from home and when night fell and I was all alone there was no one to greet me with a smile and a hug, or to tell me how much I meant to him. I also miss the closeness of pillow talk when we discussed our children, grandchildren and other issues that only wives and husbands talk about.

I know better than most that it is not what happens to one in life that counts, but how one deals with the situation. It is what I pass on to people who have Alzheimer’s disease or a mental illness in the family as a coping technique.

There were times when I had the distinct feeling that family and friends would have felt more at ease if I had skipped the step called grieving. 

There was this feeling of all-encompassing disbelief, a feeling of sadness and yearning. I seldom felt hungry or tired and one day simply slipped meaninglessly into the next.

Friends were very supportive but they had their own lives to lead. Grief is a universal feeling but differs according to the survivor’s personality. Recovery? I don’t know about that but I do know that I can learn to incorporate memories of my husband into the different life that I am building for myself. Move on is the operative word here.

This entry was posted in Grief and Grieving on by .

About Jill

Author of books and articles on support and experiences of living with a mentally ill family member. My aim in blogging is to let others see how a loving family, with a father and husband who is able to give unconditional love, can help the family cope. Many call me the blogging grandma.'

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