Monthly Archives: November 2012

What can you do to help a person who is suffering from a mental illness?

The myth says::You can’t do anything for a person suffering from a mental illness. But there are lots of things we can do. We can …

  • Refrain from using works like loony, wacko or crazy. We can try not to define them by their diagnosis. We can refrain from using the word schizophrenic. ‘He/she has schizophrenia,’ sounds so much better. It’s known as ‘person first language,’ which helps to reduce the stigma associated with these labels
  • We can all learn facts about mental health and share them with others, especially if we hear something that is untrue.
  • I would like us all to treat people suffering from a mental illness with respect and dignity, the way I would like to be treated.
  • I would like to see an end to discrimination against people suffering from a mental illness especially in the workplace. People with physical disabilites and individuals suffering from a mental illness are protected under federal and state laws.
  • Please help restore dignity to these people and allow them to walk with their heads held high and live with us in our communities. I need help here as I cannot do this alone. I promised Dano one has the right to make you feel worthlessvid that I would fight for his rights and those of all people suffering from a mental illness.  H E L P !

What is death?

What is death?

What does it symbolize?

Is it the soul entering another body

or simply another illusion?

I will never know

but I conclude that death

is a crime.


A poem written by my son toward the end of his life.

Myth: there is no hope for people suffering from a mental illness …

Today, there are more treatments, strategies and community support than ever before and more are in the works. People suffering from any mental illness, can lead active, productive lives.

Another myth: There is no hope for a person suffering from a mental illness. Our son was medication resistant, but this is not common.

I dared to call myself computer savvy …. ?


I never learned how to use a computer. My husband brought one home, arranged it on my desk next to a printer and then went back to work. He omitted to show me how to connect it or even turn it on. In those days, Q-Text was the program I had  on my ‘machine.’ Whenever someone came to visit, my first question was not; “How are you?” but “Do you use Q-Text?” If the reply was in the affirmative, I would ask a few questions and gain another drop of knowledge which I jotted down in my notebook by hand – not on the computer! Time passed and I took the plunge and started using Windows. No, I did not find it easier. At my advanced age, it was easier to use what I already knew but that was the rage, so I joined in.  I know that people shied away from me, knowing that i would pick their brains about computers while others were chatting and laughing, but it paid off and the day arrived when I managed to write my first short story on my computer, not by hand, and, I even found where I had saved it!

Today I am a grandmother of five, have been blogging for one year and am amazed at the number of people following my blog. But, I can spend hours fighting with my laptop. My grandchildren are impressed that I use a laptop and a smartphone. While preparing this blog, it took me over an hour to get the facebook picture above onto my laptop and then in the right spot.

Actually, I have become addicted to all this hitech stuff and when I visited the Silicon Valley recently, I asked someone to drive me past the large hi-tech companies and then I climbed out of the car to take a picture of facebook’s address; 1601 Willow Road using my iPhone. Sounds rather infantile, doesn’t it, but I had to do it and believe it or not, there was a steady stream of people doing exactly what I had done – taking pictures of the same thing. I use facebook in order to keep in contact with my grandchildren but have learned never to write on their walls,  rather, to use the message part of face book. I order and download books on my kindle and love it. As the weeks go by, I improve a bit, so, all you oldies out there, don’t say you cannot use a computer or a kindle. I think that it’s easier than cooking and baking. 

What does recovery mean?

Recovery refers to the process in which people are able to live, work, learn and participate fully in their communities. There are studies showing that most people suffering from mental illnesses do get better but there are degrees. For some, recovery is the ability to live a fulfilling and productive life. For others, recovery implies the reduction of symptoms. Where my son was concerned, I noticed that the moment he gave up hope, he was unable to progress at all. I believe that hope plays an integral role in any person’s recovery.

One of the myths is: when someone develops a mental illness he/she will never recover.

Trying to get on with life after a child has died.

Parents of children who have committed suicide are left with all the shards of troubled lives. A twenty-year-old jumped to his death from a multi-storey building hours after his mother had dropped him at the psychiatric hospital where he was being treated. No one saw him leave.  She thought he was being taken care of. She tells her story with apparent composure, but it’s clear that after 18 months she’s struggling with her grief,  blaming herself and is very angry.

I met a father whose twenty-seven-year-old daughter suffered from schizophrenia and took her life. But, he is determinded to move on. He believes that when you are in the hole of grief, you must stop digging or you might beome suicidal yourself. His unwillingness to dwell on the past seems to be the right approach as it’s served him well.  The mother of the young man described above, used counselors as she believed it was the only way for her.

Having experienced a suicide in my family, I dare not judge because I know that every person has to cope the way they feel is best for them. Maybe deep thinkers have more trouble with this. Not being in this category and being a doer rather than a thinker, I felt that the best way for me was to move on, to keep busy and find interesting things to do. Of course it was a very long process but I proved that it could be done. In fact, my whole family shared in this process and although no one in my family came away unscathed, we managed to get on with our lives. We will always remember our son, David and I try to think of him the way he was when he was healthy and happy, riding the waves on his surfboard.

A mental illness does not discriminate. It can affect anyone.

I was told that all people suffering from a mental illness are violent which is not true as the vast majority of people with a mental condition are no more violent than anyone else. You might even know someone who has this condition without being aware of it. Mental illnesses are surprisingly common and unlike us, they do not discriminate. They can actually affect anyone. Nearly every family has a neighbor, a friend or an acquaintance who suffers from some kind of mental illness or another.

I remember an instance when my son was in a psychiatric hospital and I felt that some of the staff members were not only guilty of discrimination but had no idea of the meaning of the word empathy. My son was very ill, suffering from paranoid  schizophrenia which is a serious illness, and I felt that the professional psychiatric workers should have been more understanding. On one occasion when David’s doctor was particularly hurtful, I turned around to him and said;

“Doctor, I have done a lot of reading on the subject of mental illness and wish I had studied it. But there is one thing that I found in every book or article on the subject; people in every single walk of life can be affected by a mental illness, irrespective of color, profession or social standing and one day, it might even strike your family.”

I didn’t feel good saying this but you must realize how very upset I had been. The psychiatrist had been anything but empathetic.

I wonder whether psychiatric professionals learn at medical school to keep their distance from the patient’s family. Maybe they have their hearts removed to stop them feeling like the rest of us. I would like to suggest that when dealing with a young man as sick as David was, that they remember how they might feel if this happened to them. A kind word can only be of help to all concerned.