AFTER A TRAGEDY
Have you even wondered what you should do or how to behave when visiting a friend who has had a tragedy in her/his family? How about putting your arms around that person and giving her/him a bear hug while saying: ‘I love you.’ When someone said that to me it felt both heartfelt, caring and healing.
But the following: ‘Time heals,’ most tragedies happen for a reason,’ sounded flippant to me even if they weren’t meant to sound that way. After losing a loved one, there was not a single reason that I could think of that could have made me believe that something so tragic could happen for a reason.
‘When do you think you’ll get over this loss?’ Or: ‘You’re young. You’ll have another baby soon.’ Or: ‘Happiness will be yours one day soon’, OR ‘You’ll make a new life,’ failed to help me understand at that stage what suitable meant. Or: ‘It’s been a while since your husband passed away, you know. How about moving on and finding another partner?’ That same day another kill-joy told me that there are about 30 to 40 widows to every one widower and I am rather ashamed to admit that I could hardly contain the smile that came of its own accord to my lips when I heard that. Amazing how resilient I was even in the face of tragedy.