My GPS …


Here’s something to make us smile this morning.

I have a little GPS. I’ve had it all my life. It’s better than the normal ones; it’s actually my wife. It gives me great instructions, especially how to drive: 50 kilometers an hour it says; you’re doing 55. It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brakes. And tells me that it’s never, ever safe to overtake. It tells me when a light is red and when it turns to green. It seems to know instinctively just when to intervene. It lists the vehicles in front of me and all those to the rear. And, taking this into account – it specifies which gear.

I’m sure no other driver has so helpful a device. For, when we leave and lock the car, it still gives me advice. It fills me up with counselling; each journey’s pretty fraught; so maybe I’ll exchange it and get a quieter sort. But, well … you see … she cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed; launders all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed.

Despite all these advantages plus my tendency to scoff. I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damned thing OFF!


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