Ever scan the obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?

red rose 2Here are some of the things my husband said over a period of time so I linked them up  and this is the result.

Ever scan the obituaries and feel jealous of the dead? It’s like living on a cliffside, a buzzing in my head.

Do you know how it feels to see a world that once was clear change from white to gray then black; tomorrow’s filled with fear? I do my best to make each day as easy as I can and keep myself as busy as any other man.

There’s a sensation that I’m screaming, yet I never make a sound, or the feeling that I’m falling, yet never hit the ground. It keeps on rushing at me, day by day by day. Can you imagine what it must be like to have to live this way?

I know my wife is hurting. She tries not to let it show. Her smile covers her feelings. She continues with the flow.


2 thoughts on “Ever scan the obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?

  1. Linda Glaude

    I feel this way every time I hear someone died, I always wonder “why can’t it be me?” I have felt this way for most of my life. Amazing what you think about when you already feel dead inside, when pain seems to cling to your brain and you always feel like your suffocating in dispair. There are good moments, but they are so fleeting that one tends to forget them. Those well meaning friends who tell you to pray makes it worse because you have been praying, pleading with God to help lift the blinding fog, to show you the way out, to make the pain go away, and it feels like even God has closed you away from His sight.


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