Monthly Archives: February 2014


time to change lets talk about 2With today’s medications, a person suffering from a mental illness can be helped, on condition that he/she continues to take meds. Most people are not only helped by these medications, but they manage to find work and are able to lead full lives. BUT, for the few who cannot be helped, this is how they feel.

Schizophrenia, depression and bi-polar illness are beasts.

Mental illness tests relationships within the family circle and those of friends to the fullest.

Family life becomes fragmented.

 Mental illness pursues with a vengeance.

People are loath to speak about mental illness.

Too many young people end up in cemeteries instead of on their surfboards, on dance floors or on the sport fields.

Mental illness tears apart the fabric of life as we know it.

Family members find reasons to flee whenever they possibly can.

Healthy siblings seldom invite friends home as it’s far more pleasant to spend time with friends out of the house.

There are husbands who leave home to find love and comfort elsewhere.

Even David’s beloved dog shied away from him because he took her on too many long walks. The dog often hid under the coffee table in the living room seeking shelter from the ‘storm.’ And, I am ashamed to say, that there were times when I wished I could join her there and hide.

The IndiePENdents Seal

imageThe indiePENdents Seal #10012269 was issued to Jill Sadowsky for her book, DAVID’S STORY. The book can be found on Smashwords or Amazon Kindle Stores.

‘When we talk to God, it’s called prayer. But, when God talks to us, it’s called schizophrenia.’ by Lily Tomlin.

DAVID’S STORY by Jill Sadowsky is a heartbreaking study of the progress of schizophrenia, destroying not just one life, but making tragic inroads into the lives of every family member. This story gripped me from the first page and i grieved along with the author. Jill Sadowsky’s honest recording of her son’s little understood mental illness is written with sensitivity and compassion, born out of love and pain.

by Dvora Waysman, author.

I’ll dance on their graves

I never thought

I’d be as dependent as an innocent lamb

depending on its mother’s milk

Yet  I am dependent on the charity of

good people and bad people.                                                      

To date, I haven’t met

anyone who can help me.

Anyone I can trust,

Certainly not my parents.

I’ll dance on their graves.

Written by  my late son, David. 

a burning candle

The ticking of my clock by my late son, David

Life is difficult sometimes

but we have to find

the small flashes of light

to lessen the depth

of the gloomy darkness

which gets more profound

with the ticking of my clock

and that gives me the dimension of time.

                            by David

The closk is ticking


To say or not to say, that is the question

questions To say, or not to say, that is the question

We slowed down when speaking to our son who had schizophrenia.

We tried to give him space and avoided making him feel trapped.

We tried to remain calm and give him all the support we were able to muster.

We knew that it was a good idea to speak slowly and quietly.

We were advised to use short, clear and simple sentences..

We avoided making sudden movements because if he were startled, he became angry.

We were as helpful as we could possibly be.

We tried to give firm yet clear directions.

We did our best to respond to his hallucinations or delusions by talking about his feelings rather than about what he was saying.

We did our best to let him know that we loved him.

To say or not to say, that was the question.

We knew better than to argue with him when he was psychotic.

We tried not to look him straight in the eye as that would be considered staring, which in turn would make him aggressive.

We tried to get him to interact with us and not confuse him.

If I wanted to hug him, it was advisable to ask first.

It was a bad idea to raise our voices.

We learned not to give him multiple choices.

We knew better than to whisper, joke or laugh in his presence as he would have assumed that we were making fun of him.

We were honest with him at all times, even if it meant imparting bad news.

He hallucinates …

If you suspect that someone is hearing voices, it’s okay to mention the voices and if that person is amenable to continue the conversation, it’s okay to ask; ‘What are they telling you?’

Very often, the voices heard are speaking at the same time as the person is trying to have a conversation with you, so he might stop talking for a while to work out what you are saying due to the interference. The voices can be rather noisy at times. So, it’s a good idea to speak slowly and clearly and limit the number of questions you fire at him. Reduce the number of outside stimuli too, if possible and allow the individual to vent some of his frustrations.

It’s not a good idea to tell him that the voices cannot possibly be real. He is convinced that they are because he hears them quite clearly.

For anyone who wants to get an idea of  how frustrating, disturbing and upsetting it is to try and engage in a conversation while these voices are chatting or talking loudly in the background, click on the link below. If I had seen this clip while my son was so ill, it would have helped me as well as my family a great deal. m/watch?v=0vvU-Ajwbok