Tips learned along the way …

                  Tips learned along the way …


a peaceful scene

  • When my son was trying hard to get his life together again, my late husband and I were actually faced with a son suffering from a neurobiological disorder, more commonly known as mental illness.
  • It took us years to understand that there was no cure.
  •  It took us years to realize that despite all our efforts, his symptoms might get worse.
  • It took me years to realize that any feelings of resentment I felt might have meant that I was giving too much of myself.
  • It took less time to understand that it was as hard for my son to accept his disorder as it was for the rest of our family. It was equally difficult for his good friends.
  • Our family tried hard to reach the stage of acceptance of schizophrenia in our family but that took a long time. It helps so much if one is able to accept. I was angry and my anger was destructive. Only when I stopped being angry, was I able to start the healing process.
  • It took us a long time to understand that a delusion will not disappear no matter how much we reasoned with our son. We learned that it needed no discussion at all.
  • We tried hard to separate our son from his disorder and learned that we loved him even though we hated his paranoid schizophrenia.
  • We had to learn to understand which side effects were caused by medication.
  • It took me a long time to learn not to neglect myself and find interests that did not revolve around mental illness.
  • We knew in our heart of hearts that there is nothing to be ashamed of due to our son’s mental illness. It is after all, a physical illness in the brain. But, in reality, the apprehensive public discriminated against mental illness in many ways. And we felt their displeasure.
  • One of the most important things we learned is that no one is to blame.




One thought on “Tips learned along the way …

  1. Sara Jacobovici

    As always Jill, great (hard earned) insights into this complex reality. Let me ask you your opinion if there is any place for grief work in the process of acceptance? Would it help to understand that someone is letting go of who they had hoped for as their family member to be and now learn to accept, value and know who that person is?


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