Category Archives: Best Posts

DAD, how was I born?

laptopI usually blog about mental illness and how our family coped with all the problems it caused both for us and for our son. I have often mentioned how my late husband used humor to get him to smile instead of becoming heated and talk about his demons. Well, the three of us were out one evening visiting friends and were pleasantly surprised to find that one of their grandchildren was present. After supper, the little boy approached my husband and asked a surprising question … surprising because it was the kind of question children usually ask their own parents or grandparents: “Do you know how I was born?” he asked.

Without hesitation my husband replied:- “Yes I think I can answer your question. I am sure that your mom and dad got together in a google chat room. Then, they set up a date in a cyber café on facebook, sneaked into a secluded room and googled one another. Once there, your mother probably agreed to download from your dad’s hard drive. When he was ready to upload, they discovered that neither of them had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, exactly nine months later, a little pop-up appeared that said in the most adorable voice,  “You’ve got male! Congratulations.

baby 2

‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit, sir?’

“We were en route back to Israel after a visit to the USA, on an El Al flight. As our young son was sitting next to us, our 10-year-old-daughter had to sit next to a gentleman opposite us and she wasn’t too happy about it.”

After the meal she told us that he wanted to chat to her.

“Is that what you want?” we asked her. “You told me never to talk to strangers, Dad.”

“It’s okay on a plane and, we are right here. Go ahead.”

“I think that a long flight passes faster if one talks to a fellow passenger,”the gentleman  told her. “Don’t you think so?”

“Well, I was going to play a game on my ipod touch,” she said, returning it to its case. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know. How about nuclear power?”

“Okay, that could be an interesting topic, but I want to ask you a question first. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Fire away.”

“Right.  A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff, don’t they?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s right. They eat grass.”

“And deer excrete little pellets, cows turn out flat patties, and horses produce clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose this occurs?”

The man was visibly surprised by her statement and her intelligence. He thought about it then said; “Hmmm. I have no idea.”

Then she surprised him with; “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit, sir?”

Autumn written by David

Autumn is drawing near.

Soon I’ll see the leaves falling.

Autumn, I am waiting for you

because the summer is lost.

Here I am, waiting for the leaves

to change colors

to symbolize winter’s arrival.

And so, spring, summer, autumn, winter

I am stuck in the same place.

The doctors refuse to help me

and leave me in this hospital.

David