Category Archives: The Youth of Today

A rocky period when your children are teenagers …

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APPROPRIATE FOR PARENTS OF TEENAGERS.

 

I visited a friend who was in the middle of a heated argument with her teenage children. I felt rather uncomfortable about having walked in at such an inopportune moment but she was far too busy to notice. A while later, she turned to me, and in the most ordinary of tones said: ” Mother Nature is truly wonderful, you know. She gave me 14 years to develop a deep love for my children before turning them into teenagers!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The BULLY’S MOTHER.

bullies 1“Who is this student’s mother? Where is she?” A large man with a deep voice yelled. “I need to speak with her now.”

Claire knew that no matter what  that man was angry about, her son, Roger,  was the target of his rage, and that his mother; ME, was the person he was searching for. She would have loved to run away and hide but her sweet, fair-haired son, Roger, was approaching and the red-faced, enraged father was grasping him by his collar. Claire breathed deeply, aware that other mothers were holding their children’s hands, relieved that their little darlings were not the culprits. “I’m his mother,”  Claire managed to say before the tirade began. “What’s wrong with your son?” the father yelled. “I was walking  along, holding my daughter’s hand and chatting to her when your aggressive son came out of nowhere and hit her without provocation. What’s the matter with him? Do you and your husband or boyfriend beat him up?” Claire glanced at her son who was wearing that now familiar expression of sheepishness and defiance while the angry father was probably waiting for me, his mother, to get my Roger to apologize. BUT,  I knew that it was not  going to happen. I blurted out ”I’m so sorry. I will talk to my child,” and looked into my son’s eyes wondering for the 100th time what was wrong with him and what made him hit other students?” I was angry too, because I was no longer an ordinary mother. I was the mother of The Bully, a title I’ve lived with for years. When my toddler  was barely three years old, my girlfriend’s husband said that my darling child had intimidated their son and was too rough. Then I was asked  to remove him from the playgroup because he’d boxed a child there and was no longer welcome. After that, angry mothers, raging fathers and tearful schoolchildren came to complain. I sought the help of a therapist and did my best to implement what I’d learned there. To no avail. As Roger grew older, there were less complaints.

One day, soon after my younger son had started  school, he came home sobbing. “What happened?” I asked. “He, he, he took my lollipop.” “Who did?” “The big boy.” “Did you simply give it to him?” “Yes.”  “Why?” “He said I had to.” And Claire felt  more relieved than she had felt her whole life. Her younger son, the Bully’s brother, was now the victim. She and her husband had one son who was a bully and the other, a victim.

Both boys came from the same parents and lived in the same house so, how could they have produced two sons so different?

Can anyone explain this phenomena?

 

 

 

 

What my mother taught me

 

SERENADE2SENIORS

My mother taught me some valuable lessons that I’ll never forget. Before I got married, she said; “Don’t ever let the sun go down on your wrath.” I often think of her words and how smart they were. I remember passing these words of wisdom on at one of the support groups for parents of  mentally ill children that I attended.

She gave me the following advice too; “Don’t ache to be someone’s whole life. Rather, aim to be the favorite part of it. Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.”

On this note, have as good a day as you possibly can.

Are you complaining again?

SERENADE 2 SENIORS

Before you utter an unkind word, think of people who are unable to speak.

Before you complain about the tasteless food, think of the hungry people out there.

Before you complain about your wife or husband, think of a person who is desperate to find a companion.

Before you complain about your life, think of someone who died too young.

Before you complain about your children, think of all the childless couples unable to conceive.

When you next complain about your job think of all the unemployed, the disabled, and the hordes of people who wish they had your job.

When depressing thoughts get you down, stick a smile on your face and be happy that you are alive.

 

I’ve discovered that love…

 SERENADE TO SENIORS 

BRAIN

Our brain is the  most outstanding organ in our body. It works 24 hours, 365 days from the time we are born until ………………………. we fall in love.

For a change, this blog will be on a lighter note, quite out of character from my usual blogs.

The most beautiful line one can hear is “But, I love you.”

The most painful one is “I love you, but,” …………….. 

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Rather than choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.

True love isn’t about being inseparable. It’s about two people being true to each other even when they are apart.

Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is.

While you’re searching for the perfect person, you might miss the imperfect individual who could have made you perfectly happy.

Love is about spending time with a person who makes you happy in a way that nobody else does.

If you love life, don’t waste time;  for time is what life is made up of.

Music is what feelings sound like. 

What life has taught me

juggling five balls 2I imagined juggling five balls in the air at the same time and to name each ball, and this is what I came up with:

WORK       FAMILY        FRIENDS        HEALTH       SPIRIT

What I was trying to do with my life was to keep all of them up in the air at the same time and it took a while until I understood that my WORK was like a rubber ball and if I dropped it, it would bounce back. But the other four balls;  FAMILY, HEALTH, FRIENDS and SPIRIT were crafted from glass, and if I dropped one of them, it would be irrevocably marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. I knew that it would never be the same again. That applied to the last four on my list, I simply had to learn the importance of striving for a modicum of balance in my life, something I am still learning to do. The following points are what my experiences in life have taught me:- Although I have come a long way, I have yet to learn not to undermine my own worth by comparing myself to others. At last I have learned that it is precisely because of these differences that each of us is special. Having discovered what is best for me, I try not to set my goals by what others deem important. At a practical philosophy class I learned not to live in the past nor to agonize about the future. I understand now that It is far better to live out my days one day at a time for the rest of my life. Although it took time, I have learned not to take the things closest to my heart for granted, I cling to them, as without them, my life would be meaningless. A difficult lesson to learn was not to use words nor time carelessly as neither can be retrieved. Of course there are times when I mess up on this point, but being aware of it has helped. My life is no longer a race; rather a journey to be savored. I learned not to give up when I felt I had something to give, because nothing is really over until the moment I stop trying. I try to remember at all times that every person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated and I would far rather be on the giving end. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure easily carried. Once, I was afraid to learn in case I would not succeed but I am afraid no longer. It wasn’t so long ago that I had neither the time nor the courage to do so. So  many of us strive to be perfect. I know that I am far from perfect and am the first to admit it. Taking risks no longer bothers me. By taking chances, I have learned to be brave and how to put on a brave front. I am convinced that it is not a good idea to shut love out of my life simply by using the lame excuse that I had no time for it. The fastest way to receive love, is to give it; the quickest way to lose love is to hold onto it too tightly. Last but not least, I know that it’s a good idea not to run so fast that I forget not only where I’ve been, but where I am going. I can truthfully say that I have succeeded in learning some, but not all of the above points. work, friends, health, family, spirit

Friendships Count

stigma1A new anti-stigma campaign aims to teach youths about mental illness. Written by Diane Smith in the Star-Telegram.com

Fort Worth – Layne Lynch sat at her piano inspired by an unusual  feeling. A tune soon emerged. It was followed by lyrics. Click to watch this clip: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CMAeg8D52c

This song, Dear Friend of Mine, is asking teens to be understanding to classmates, friends and siblings struggling with mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and bipolar disorder. It was inspired by a family member’s experience with a mood disorder. “It’s so cool to see people realize that it is OK to get help,” Lynch said.

The song is part of Friendships Count, a new anti-stigma campaign produced by the Mental Health Connection and Community Solutions of Fort Worth. Mental Health Connection is a collaboration of area mental health professionals, consumers (the name people with a mental illness prefer to be called) and other advocates who want to improve their mental health delivery system.

Their campaign takes the message of empathy to teens via a website and a music clip posted on YouTube. It also includes bookmarks and posters that will be distributed at schools.

Defining mental disorders and how they affect teens, can help reduce the stigma associated with illnesses.

Even though people are more comfortable discussing mental disorders today, many people still don’t understand why they shouldn’t label others as unstable or crazy; rather, a chronic disease just like diabetes. Once a teen is diagnosed, therapies and treatments can work.

We all know that peer pressure and hormones make the teen years difficult, and adults may have a hard time understanding why their kids feel sad or too scared to go to school. BUT, friends and relatives can make a difference. Parents learn that ‘It’s not bad parenting that caused this.