Category Archives: Suicide

Making Lemonade Out of This Shit ….. The Benny Fund

making-lemonade-out-of-this-shit-grandma-jill-L-HcPhUXy

MAKING LEMONADE OUT OF THIS SHIT – GRANDMA JILL

Posted in  Paperblog.

The following was written and posted on the internet by The Benny Fund and I subsequently  found it on PAPERBLOG and  decided to post this as it was heartwarming to find it on the internet. Thank you so much Benny Fund for your support as well as for the email you sent me after reading my book. Here is a part of it :-

RE: David’s Story by Jill Sadowsky.

Grandma Jill,

Thank you to my kind (virtual) friend and inspiration, Grandma Jill. I started to read Jill’s blog during the depths of depression. She blogs about mental illness, and her entries on schizophrenia started to resonate with me when I had concerns about my brother. After his suicide this last August,(2014) I reached out to Jill as a resource. She has been an endless source of inspiration and knowledge. David’s Story is a remarkable, yet heartbreaking tribute to her late son. She details her family‘s journey as well as her frustrations  with the mental health system and in this, she is not alone. She tragically lost her son to suicide as we lost my brother. I read most of her book ‘David’s Story’ within days, but I delayed reading the last few chapters for months. I could not bring myself about to deal with the reality of suicide given the rawness of my feelings so did not have the courage to finish Jill’s book. I spent the last hour sobbing uncontrollably. Her book hit at my core. Jill’s persistence was and remains enviable. Her courage is admirable. Her compassion, incomparable. If you have the chance, please read David’s Story which is on SMASHWORDS OR THE AMAZON KINDLE STORE.

‘A person diagnosed with a mental illness, as well as his/her family, is usually the very last one to speak out about it due to the stigma. Mental illness is far more common than diabetes, heart disease or cancer yet is far less spoken about.  It is NOT a character flaw. It doesn’t help to tell someone to get over it. But it helps to show compassion as they are struggling. Find ways to give support. Maybe it’s time to deal with it openly with the emphasis on kindness and acceptance.’

An excerpt from Jill Sadowsky’s book.

 

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DAVID’S STORY by Jill Sadowsky

DAVID’S STORY by Jill Sadowsky

‘When we talk to God it’s called prayer.

When God talks to us, it’s called s c h i z o p h r e n i a

(by Lily Tomlin)

Dvora Waysman, author of 11 books wrote:

David’s Story is a heartbreaking study of the progress of schizophrenia, destroying not just one life, but making tragic inroads into the lives of every family member. This story gripped me from the first page and I grieved along with the author. I highly recommend it.

Jill Sadowky’s honest recording of image of David’s Story, her son’s little-understood mental illness, is written with sensitivity and compassion born out of love and pain.

DAVID’S STORY is available as a kindle e-book from Amazon.

Jill’s blog, which appears three times a week, is available at the following link:   https://jillsmentalhealthresources.wordpress.com/

Farewell to Doron

a willow treeFAREWELL TO DORON

A very good friend who is  no longer with us, sent this after Doron’s death.

A young, innocent child playing with his toys

Provides his parents with countless joys.

An energetic youth, full of charm,

Who ever thought he’d come to harm?

Noone knew what his future would be; nor about his tranquility.

All at once his world was shattered

He had the feeling of being battered.

Unseen demons chased him, causing strife; his life was grim.

Though it was hard to bear, this brave youth shed not a tear,

but, contemplated this world to leave,

didn’t consider his family who would truly grieve.

He’d leave to find eternal peace,

Some felt it would be a great release.

Did he need to suffer so?

The answer is no, no, no, no.

I sighed and thought of happier times

Memories plenty; friends did their best.

Thank G-d your son is now at rest.

We all loved  you, Doron.

From SANE Australia … suicide prevention

The clip below was produced by SANE, Australia, and is one of the most sensitively portrayed videos I have yet seen. It sends a message of hope to a person who is in such a deep depression that he/she is contemplating putting an end to his/her life.  Their message is:-

S T O P. There is help out there.

http://www.sane.org/projects/suicide-prevention

 

 

The fourth post on suicide …

If ……….  if ……….  if ………. but there is hope at the end of the tunnel

If someone admits to planning to take his/her life, it might be a good idea to assess whether they have a plan, a weapon in their possession, whether they are planning to overdose and if so, on which pills. It is also advisable to try and find out whether this decision is a sudden one.

If you are aware of someone trying to call you during your sensitive conversation with your depressed friend,  it’s a good time to ask the second caller to text someone else and ask them to send help in the form of a professional. If  that fails, notify the police.

I have been told that suicides are rarely carried out when a second person is present. My late husband and I were aware of the fact that our son was planning to take his life; we had been warned by two psychiatrists in the past … but, we had no way of knowing when that might occur. He was on prescribed medication. In fact, he took what we referred to as a ‘salad of medications,’ but we did not know whether he was taking them regularly as prescribed, any more than we knew when he would give up his fight against paranoid schizophrenia.

The World Health Organization (WHO) calls suicide the largest public health tragedy. They plan to reduce the approximately 800,000 global suicide rates per year. That  means that approximately every forty seconds one person is taking his/her life. And life is one of the most precious gifts we have. In the 15 to 29-year-old age group, suicide is the second leading cause of death globally.

However, there is hope. If we all become more aware of mental illness and stigma, as well as some warning signs, we can alert medics and a life can be saved. Most people who threaten suicide do not carry their threats through.

support group

The second post in this series on suicide.

If you notice changes in a person’s behavior, you need to find a way of connecting with that individual. Make contact and show your friend or colleague that you understand what he or she is saying. Show that you feel his/her pain and understand that it is real. It is a good idea to listen, really listen. You probably don’t have any answers but by being there, the person suffering from severe depression, feels that you care and that alone, is so very important. Most people are either afraid to get too close to a person  with a mental illness, or do not have the necessary patience to listen.

It is not a good idea to give advice if you are not a professional. giving support should be sufficient as well as trying to understand what he/she is feeling. If the individual says; ‘I don’t know what to do any longer; I’m down to my last cent, or down to my last bit of strength,’ you could say; ‘ It must be so difficult to deal with this situation. You probably feel that you have tried everyting but remain in the same spot, right?’ He/she might say; ‘Nobody cares a damn about me.’ So, you can say gently; ‘Please remember that you are not alone. I am here for you and I am really worried about you and care about you. Maybe we can contact a relative or call your therapist. If your friend refuses to do this, it might be time to step in and contact a family member.

Suicidal thoughts must not be kept secret. If you think of the consequences you will know what has to be done.

The ill person needs a glimmer of hope. We all need hope in our lives. I’m not sure how anyone can continue without any hope at all.

Beware of talk like, I have no reason to live, I am a burden to my parents, I am in so much pain, I feel trapped as they are all after me.

This person might investigate where to purchase a gun. He/she might start drinking alcohol or using drugs. He/she might withdraw from previously enjoyed activities, act recklessly, might stop sleeping altogether and pace or go walking all night OR, might even sleep the days away. He/she might start giving away possessions that were previously loved and cherished; might suffer from panic attacks and in desperation, might call friends and relatives to say goodbye.

If you so much as suspect that someone is thinking of ending his/her life, it is advisable not to leave that person alone.  But there is  no way that one can be with anyone 24 hours a day.  Call the mental health hotline to find out who to call and how to handle the situation. In an emergency, call 911.

The first in a series on a pretty taboo topic ….

Suicide is a pretty taboo subject. As if managing the stigma of mental illness isn’t sufficiently difficult, suicide carries its own emotive responses; everything from embarrassment, humiliation, shame and denial, to stone-walling and ignorance. I am one of the many people seeking to change the public perception of what it is to live with and face the aftermath of the suicide of a loved one in a family … our son.

If a person wants to end his/her life, there are usually warning signs. The loss of a parent or another loved one can have a shocking effect on an individual who has an emotional problem; the loss of prestige at work or at school can have a negative effect. That same person could have been a victim of domestic violence, bullying at school or even via one or another of the popular social media.

If a friend starts talking or writing about suicide;  if there is a sudden change in that person’s behavior, it can be a warning sign. If a good student’s grades drop or if he/she stops smiling or ends his/her relatioship with a good friend suddenly and without apparent cause, becomes tearful for no apparent reason, or stops participating in his/her usual activities, beware. If your friend talks about the piles of pills he/she has collected, beware and enlist help.

Students should turn to an adult for guidance. It is advisable not to hesitate as you might be able to save a precious life.